Fancy as Fuck: tiffany-leeanne asked: "Can you define some things for my education? Non-binary. Femme. Queer. also Cis and such. I...
[Made rebloggable by request]
This is all to the best of my knowledge:
identifies neither as a woman nor as a man, or both.
Cisis someone who identifies with the gender they were assigned at birth. Someone who was assigned female/a woman and continues to identify as such, or someone who was assigned male/a man and continues to identify as such. Someone who is not trans.
Femmeandqueerare more complicated, because they don’t have set definitions. Femme can mean a million different things to different people, as can queer.
Something I’ve written aboutfemmeidentity before:
My femme is too much, unflattering, trashy, DIY, recycled, skanky, fat, queer, adorable, vicious, loving, strong, tender, empowered, reappropriated, dgaf, combat boots, lace, and self-care.
My femme is intentional visibility, taking up space, fiercely loving my body, and staring back. My femme is bodily autonomy, non-violent communication, and asking for what you want.
It is an empowered, intentional, and fierce femininity.
To quote mygenderiskittens,
“Femme means a number of different things to different people. I can’t speak to what it means for others, only myself. Femme to me is a reclaimed and intentional femininity. It exists not for the benefit of others, but for my own personal empowerment and enjoyment. It’s something I do, and it’s something I am. It’s rejecting what is expected of femininity (who is allowed to have it, and how) and doing it my own damn way. Femme is how I take care of myself. It’s how I take care of my loved ones. Femme is all the soft, hard, tender parts of me. Femme is my heart.”
As forQueer, I’m gonna quote an article fromTranarchism.com(which is long, but necessarily so, since none of this is simple.)
“Queerness, to me, is about far more than homosexual attraction. It’s abouta willingness to see all other taboos broken down.Sure, many of us start on this path when we first feel “same sex” or “same gender” attraction (though what is sex? And what is gender? And does anyone really have the same sex or gender as anyone else?). But queerness doesn’t stop there.
This is a somewhat controversial stance, butto me queer means something completely different than “gay” or “lesbian” or “bisexual.”A queer person is usually someone who has come to a non-binary view of gender, who recognizes the validity of all trans identities, and who,given this understanding of infinite gender possibilities, finds it hard to define their sexuality any longer in a gender-based way. Queer people understand and support non-monogamy even if they do not engage in it themselves. They can grok being asexual or aromantic. (What does sex have to do with love, or love with sex, necessarily?) A queer can view promiscuous (protected) public bathhouse sex with strangers and complete abstinence as equally healthy.
Queers understand that people have different relationships to their bodies. We get what it means to be stone. We know what body dysphoria is about.We understand that not everyone likes to get touched the same way or to get touched at all. We realize that people with disabilities may have different sexual needs, and that people with survivor histories often have sexual triggers. We can negotiate safe and creative ways to be intimate with people with HIV/AIDs and other STIs.
Queers understand the range of power and sensation and the diversity of sexual dynamics. We are tops and bottoms, doms and subs, sadists and masochists and sadomasochists, versatiles and switches. We know what we like and don’t like in bed.
We embrace a wide range of relationship types. We can be partners, lovers, friends with benefits, platonic sweethearts, chosen family.We can have very different dynamics with different people, often all at once. We don’t expect one person to be able to fulfill all our diverse needs, fantasies and ideals indefinitely.
Because our views on relationships, sex, gender, love, bodies, and family are so unconventional, we are of necessity anti-assimilationist. Because under the kyriarchy we suffer, and watch the people we love suffering, we are political. Because we want to survive, we fight. We only want the freedom to be ourselves, love ourselves, love each other, and live together. Because we are routinely denied that, we are pissed.
Queer doesn’t mean “don’t label me,” it means “I am naming myself.”It means “ask me more questions if you curious” and in the same breath means “fuck off.”
At least, that is what it means to me.”
Queer doesn’t mean “don’t label me,” it means “I am naming myself.”
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