Q:what's your opinion on feedee cam girls? do you think it encourages the negative opinions we already struggle to get out from under being in large bodies?? or if someone has weird feels about it are they necessarily anti-sex work or anti-woman? is it shaming someone to say i don't agree with this?
i don’t have any opinions about feedee cam girls or any other sex work so long as people are choosing to do that work with full autonomy and have the support they need and deserve. sex work has historically not been kind to women, but that is because we prosecute and shame the women involved instead of dismantling a sex-shaming culture, encouraging or accepting rape and sexual assault, and constantly inserting opinions on things that don’t effect us. :)
you don’t need to have an opinion on it unless it is directly affecting your every day life, but you do need to support a woman’s right to do whatever the fuck she wants. whatever stigmas feedee cam girls may or may not be perpetuating are not nearly as prevalent or intense as stigmas perpetuated by our friends and family, and that is a much more real thing to tackle and care about.
What is sexual assault prevention? On “roofies” and nail polish (Trigger warning: rape culture, victim blaming)
I’m sure a lot of you have seen articles going around talking about a new nail polish developed by four young men called “Undercover Colors” that is designed to change colors when put into drinks containing drugs that are commonly used by perpetrators to facilitate sexual assault. It’s one of many of a long line of products designed so that women can “keep ourselves safe” from sexual assault (I’m looking at you pepper spray, rapex, color-changing coasters, and anti-rape underwear). While I’m sure this product was developed with only the best intentions, the fact that four men looking to solve the problem of sexual assault thought this was the best solution illuminates precisely the root of the problem: preventing sexual assault is not the responsibility of women and people who wear nail polish and prevention is ONLY possible if we fundamentally redefine masculinity.
Several articles have outlined why this kind of product is problematic and the list really could go on and on. Most notably, it places the responsibility for rape prevention on the shoulders of victims and possible victims rather than perpetrators. It also reinforces stereotypes about what kinds of rape are taking place since the number one drug used is alcohol with drugs accounting for a small percentage of assaults. Not to mention that most are perpetrated by someone the victim knows and trusts in an environment where they feel safe. I’m also really struggling with the concept that we should be “discreetly” checking for drugs in our drinks. Even the name “Undercover Colors” makes it seem like their purported mission of rape prevention is something we need to be quiet about.
"At least they tried," you might be saying. "What if even one person is ‘saved’ as a result of this nail polish?" you might ask. And to that I ask back, "What happens when the person wearing the nail polish successfully avoids the perpetrator but the next person being targeted doesn’t? Is that prevention? Does this kind of product actually change the root of the problem or does it just put a band-aid on it and call that prevention? What if instead of putting their energy, time, and money toward the development of this product, these four men had used that same energy, time, and money towards becoming vocal allies against rape in their community and encouraging other men to do the same?"
Look, I get it. Ending rape is hard work. And it would be really great if we could just invent a magical product and call the problem solved. But none of these products are actually doing the work that needs to be done to end rape and that’s because the problem is deeply rooted in patriarchal values and the work to undo that is slow and difficult. It requires that we deconstruct what it means to be a man and reconstruct it in a way that doesn’t rely on violence as the desirable (or only) option for self-expression and self-definition. It requires that we create a culture that gives men space to be emotional, to encourage them to communicate about their thoughts and feelings, and that we give them tools to do productive and healthy things with those thoughts and feelings rather than destructive ones. It requires that we look at the ways that racism, misogyny, heterosexism, capitalism, ableism, and the state intersect and work together to create and promote rape culture. And most importantly, it requires that men are willing to do the work required to change themselves and challenge other men to do the same.
If we are truly committed to preventing and ending rape, we have to ask ourselves what that really means and what that really looks like. I’m confident it doesn’t look like drug-detecting nail polish. As long as we seek external, commodity-based solutions to the problem of rape culture, rape culture will persist. Rape is a problem of violent masculinity. It’s not a problem of improper accessorizing.
Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda” video just broke the Vevo record with 19.6 million views in 24 hours. The record was previously held by Miley Cyrus. Shout outs to Nicki reclaiming Black women’s sexuality while defeating the very white woman who tried to accessorize it.
All I can say is…wow. Not a good feeling.
Officer Darren Wilson’s gofundme has more money donated than Michael Brown’s memorial fund. White privilege at it’s finest.
I don’t usually post about stuff like this, but please share this in hopes of more people donating to Michael Brown’s family. You can find the gofundme page: here.
SIGNAL BOOST THE HECK OUT OF THIS
So many more people have donated to Michael Brown’s memorial fund… but people who are committed to racial and social justice are also less likely to be rich, so.
(The average donation to MB memorial fund is $25 while the average donation to Darren Wilson is over $40.)
Edited to add: Darren Wilson fund is now up to $189k while Michael Brown’s memorial fund is at $146k.
I love this woman